


Line in the Sand

by lulahbelle



Category: The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth (2011)
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Military, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:23:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulahbelle/pseuds/lulahbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcus and Esca are best friends in the modern day military. Marcus is straight, Esca is gay and getting it on the regular from some pretty dubious guys which Marcus really doesn't like but only gradually realises why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Line in the Sand

**Author's Note:**

> -This has some very very brief discussion of homophobic slurs by non homophobic people, if this is likely to upset or offend then please avoid. There is a little slither of internalised homophobia in the air here too.
> 
> -I know nothing about the military, or being gay in the military beyond the little I've read about gay soldiers so my terminology and understanding of the whole concept is likely wholly inaccurate.
> 
> -Esca is secretive about his sexuality around his superiors but there is still scope for shenanigans which I think is reasonably realistic given my reading.
> 
> -There is some slight comment on the pop psychology view that homophobes are all latently bisexual/gay herein...although perhaps this is really actually set in an (unrealistic? Seems plausible to me) universe where all men are latently bisexual/gay for Esca.

Sand coloured uniform, brown hair with its aura of copper even in the dim light, when Marcus approached, Esca was looking away to where three of their fellow soldiers were unpacking kit.

"S'up?" Marcus said.

Esca flicked a look his way and said, "Nuthin' much," his eyes quickly returning half way to his fixation again.

"What you lookin at?"

Esca flicked a look back to Marcus, raised his eyebrows and said in a whisper, "Jake."

"Jake?" Marcus parroted, dubious.

Esca nodded, "He's fucking gorgeous."

Marcus looked at the group of other, perfectly average looking men, unable to work out which one Jake was, then quirked his head in the youngest guy's direction and with dubious expression asked low, "Him?"

Esca nodded strongly, eyebrows raised.

Marcus' eyes narrowed, "Wasn't he the one who shouted faggot at you in mess this morning?"

Esca smirked, "Term of affection?"

Marcus laughed in shocked disbelief.

Still smiling Esca turned and walked off.

Marcus followed him. They walked out into the evening air, the blue sky purpling above, back to their tent through camp, passing other groups of assigned men unpacking even more equipment.

"Well I mean to be fair, I don't think he quite knows how right he is yet, at least not consciously." Esca continued quietly.

"He's a homophobe," Marcus whispered back.

Esca turned to Marcus, his face, boyish already, wearing a look of mischieviousness, and shrugged, "Homophobes give the best blowjobs."

All Marcus could do was laugh.

Esca was just blunt like that, with a candidness about his sex life that had been disturbing at first to Marcus, only son of a conservative Army general and once unaware of all things gay, but they had been friends with one another years now, he was pretty much used to it.

Knowing Esca was as simple as grasping the fact that he took joy in life. That he did what he wanted with who he wanted for his own reasons and in all ways did not give a fuck.

Esca continued, full out laughing. "Seriously though, maybe it's cos they don't get cock a lot but they're always so willing. I'm always expecting I'm gonna have to give, you know and I get my jaw all limbered up and everything and then there's no need whatsoever cos he's already on it."

Marcus laughed.

Though what Esca did was a massive secret from their superiors he was just utterly free about it with those he could trust. A shining beacon of freedom in the midst of Marcus' restricted, regimented life. All the same as far as Marcus could tell Jake really was a dick, so he insisted, in the name of reason, "Dude, he's a douche."

Esca looked at him long, Marcus made it plain he wasn't budging, at which point Esca laughed.

"Ah for fuck's sake Marcus I know he is, alright, I'm just too horny to care."

That attitude, the natural sacrifice of higher reason to the lower was not one Marcus could quite get on board with.

"We're all horny man."

"Then surely you understand?"

"Nah man that dude. He's just too much of an idiot, it's like, dishonourable or something."

Esca sniggered at his dramatic phrasing, "Dishonourable?"

Marcus stuck with it, "Yeah, you've got your hand."

"Can't really get off with my hand anymore."

"It's difficult for us all man," Marcus said having put on a grave face to cover up any lurking embarrassment at the fact that they were now specifically talking about his jerking off.

"Oh fuck off, if you're horny go chat up Cottia."

Cottia was the medic and it was clear to everyone that she had a ridiculous crush on Marcus.

Marcus just pulled a face at the suggestion. There was no way he was gonna fuck Cottia out here. The romantic lies of society had sunk too low into his soul Esca had said to him once. He believed in doing things right. When he contemplated it, even with helpless need in mind, sex with a woman was something that only happened after dinner or dancing. He couldn't just fuck as if it was the bodily need it was. The thought of doing that to a woman felt far too much like disrespect.

His reluctance frustrated Esca as much as if it were him who wouldn't be getting laid, "You're too sensible, she's well got the hots for you."

Marcus fixed his face easily in the same grimace of reluctance as before.

Esca mistook it for doubt, and said, angrily, loudly, "Ah come on. She fucks you with her eyes everytime you walk past her."

"I know Esca, I'm not fucking stupid, but what can I do about that out here? So like I go out with her and then what? Take her back to the tent?" He shook his head.

"You know on the right night it can be a pretty magical place," Esca said with a smile, clearly recalling a previous occasion.

Marcus shook his head in overacted distaste then smiled too.

Esca laughed. "She's in the armed forces mate, I don't think she's gonna judge you for the location, probably just as gagging for it as you are."

Marcus shook his head disagreeing.

Esca made a face at him but Marcus' reluctance to even go near the girl was solid inside him and he just looked back impassive.

"You wouldn't understand man. How could you?"

Esca pretended to take offense at what Marcus was implying about him then giggled, "You're so noble. I'll make sure they chisel that on your gravestone when you die of blue balls."

*  
Marcus wasn't meant to be back so early but sometimes he could not connect with the other guys and their heroic talk of simplistic outcomes and had to get away. When he slid down the flap on the tent that he and Esca shared there was a strange man sat on Esca's mattress with him. It was Jake, the guy from earlier, and he had his hand on Esca's cheek looking into his eyes.

Esca wore a filthy sort of smirk, tipping his face up towards him.

Marcus felt a weird lace of excitement pull through him at the sight. A quick, odd shudder. He ignored it, dismissed it like he did all strange bodily reaction he had to Esca. It was just because Esca was so sexual and sexually available and Marcus was so horny, it didn't mean a thing.

Marcus was unobserved so just before their lips touched he made sure to cough loudly, "Sorry couldn't stand being out there anymore."

Jake took his hand off Esca at once and fury came over his face, but he was not one for excusing himself, he stood up but didn't appeal to either Marcus or Esca to keep this secret. Likely Esca had already told him Marcus wasn't likely to tell on them.

He looked at Esca with sullen intensity, like he was threatening him.

Esca flicked a look back at him.

"See you around," Jake said.

Esca nodded.

He left and Marcus moved further into the tent.

Esca, raised his eyebrows almost into his shorn hair and began to laugh.

"Almost got a show then mate."

Esca looked so happy with himself. Marcus found all he could do was scowl at him.

Esca got the look straight away and struck back like it was piercing him, "What can I do eh. He wants it. I didn't even ask him to come here."

Marcus couldn't help it, the whole thing, that guy in his tent, with Esca, made him angry although he couldn't work out the exact specifics of why through the dense cloud of his fury.

"Well you're in a foul mood," Esca said at him.

Marcus could feel his frown etch itself deeper on his face and indulgently went with it, tidying the small amount of his things that he'd left spread on his cot away, whilst staring at the floor in silence. "What's it about?" Esca asked him and his voice was so strangulated and upset with him, that it snapped Marcus out of his sulk and instantly he began covering that shit.

"I'm just fucking sick of this place."

"Yeah you and everybody else."

Marcus paused and considered it and Esca was right, now wasn't the time to be blaming other people for how shitty things were. Marcus wasn't even sure if that really was what his bad mood was about, it was just seeing what he had, someone like that, standing over Esca, touching him, he didn't like it, it disagreed with him.

He lay on his bed and closed his eyes to more formless anxiety until a thought to distract struck him.

"Wanna go see the flick at the Y tomorrow?"

They were on an Army base in the middle of nowhere and both exempt from duties for a few days, there would usually have been no problem with arranging things at such short notice but this time Esca said, "Oh, can't tomorrow."

"Why not?"

"Well Jake'll wanna see me again and I wanna, since we were just interrupted."

Marcus couldn't help it, he felt a split second of pure, utter fury and disappointment that flashed over his face before he could right it again.

Esca was looking right at him and saw it and Esca knew.

Frowning Esca asked him, "Why does that fucking upset you so much?"

"Cos he's a douche."

"Ah fuck off, it's none of your business, it's not for you to care about."

Forced to defend his peculiar ill temper without a real sure clue what it was actually about Marcus became creative, protesting loud, "Well I'm your friend, who else is gonna care about you since you obviously don't give a shit about yourself."

Esca hissed quietly

"For fuck's sake Marcus it's a shag ok. I mean you care about me, you disapprove, I know, but you don't normally start whinging, why are you so bothered now."

"Cos you're blowing me off for this fuckin' douche that's why."

"Oh I'm blowing you off on a trip to the Y?" Esca shook his head in disbelief that Marcus could genuinely be upset about that, "Yeah I am blowing you off for him and you know why? Cos you're my friend yeah, I expect you to understand that I need to get laid every once in a while and not to be a petty bitch about it because you're jealous that you're not getting any."

That made Marcus upset, he swung his legs so that he sat up on the bed and stared hard at Esca, "Is that seriously why you think I'm upset."

"What other reason could there be. Look I've told you if you want to nail someone there's always Cottia. Why on earth you haven't fucked her already I don't even begin to know?"

"I don't want Cottia." Marcus said.

It had only slipped out and he didn't know where from, but he spent the seconds that followed it frightened by how true it was. He spent the next few frantically reasoning that apart. Cottia was good looking and nice, lovely really, he liked her and she wanted him and he was a heterosexual male who hadn't had sex with something other than his hand in a long while, how could it be that he genuinely didn't want her?

He didn't know how it made sense, only that it was true, he didn't want her, perhaps he never had.

He had lost his direction and was now unravelling into confusion.

As an empty sickness formed in his stomach he realised he had been for awhile now. It scared him how often this unravelling happened around Esca.

He felt warm and unsteady when he realised that Esca was being a decent guy and seeing his confusion was pretending he hadn't said what he had.

"Look I tell you what I'll go get Cottia to come over, ya can have a chat and then maybe when you have leave you can get a motel together or something, just anything so that you stop interfering in my shit because at the moment I want to smack you in the face." He was angry, "So am to Cottia's or are you just gonna keep your nose out of my business?

A peculiar realisation that Marcus has rejected for sometime was sinking in him in a strangely quick way.

"I mean you do fancy her don't you."

No.

Marcus realised the concept was hideous and that more than this it had always been hideous in a way he had hoped to deny by ignorance and repression.

He kept silent behind that ginormous revelation, nauseous, letting it settle inside of him.

"Marcus?"

"No."

"What?"

"I don't really want Cottia."

Esca looked puzzled, "Well why didn't you fucking say? Plenty of fish in the sea and all that jazz."

Marcus was still and silent at the dots connecting in his head.

"What's the matter then?"

"I don't know, nuthin', I'm being stupid."

"Spill it then."

"I'm cool man you're right, it's your life, it's none of my business."

Esca sighed.

"Marcus what's the matter with ya eh? Come on, I care about ya and I know you care about me, I know, I just...why don't you want me to get what I want?"

At this plaintive request everything cleared in Marcus' head and then a split second later there was suddenly something there to be said. He didn't even think these words, they just slid out of his lips.

"Cos I wanna give you what you want." Marcus said. He was puzzled by what he'd said, by how right it was when he didn't understand the words but yes, that was it.

Marcus was capable of such self control around everyone else but there was some quality about Esca that disarmed him. His honesty just opened Marcus' up, brought the truth up from him whenever he felt question or confusion.

"I'm sorry," He said immediately but though it burned him he knew he couldn't take it back, it was too true.

How could it be so true.

"I don't understand, what's this about?" Esca asked, but Marcus knew he saw him, he knew Esca had always known.

"Maybe I don't know what it's about."

They were silent a long time both calculating how to deal with this. Marcus felt he should speak, to offset the damage but at the same time was entirely empty of things to say.

"Ok," Esca said with a deep sigh, "Well we don't have to talk about this."

Marcus thought, with gratitude, that he was again offering to ignore the embarrassing things Marcus let slip from his lips but then Esca reached his hand out to Marcus' face and Marcus understood truly what the 'it' was that Esca was offering to ignore.

Marcus found that arousal reared up so high to that possibility. He wanted to grab Esca by the arms and push that thinking breathing, beautiful body of his down, or back against something.

He wanted to press into that body. Take it. Have it.

He stepped off away from Esca in shock at himself and what he was capable of thinking.

"Come back here. come on."

Marcus' body prepared for the possibility, his breathing heavier, his cock tight in his pants.

Esca reached out a hand for him that didn't touch, just sat in the air between them, Marcus eyed it, unable to take his sight from it, measuring the distance between it and his body.

"It's fucking ideal. I mean come on, it won't fucking break ya," Esca said as if he were explicitly referring to the touch of his hand, that palm of peace between them.

Marcus stared from it to Esca's serene face in disbelief.

"Come on, we wanna touch each other don't we? It's fucking burning between us, stressing us out." Esca insisted his voice low, molten, hypnotising.

"I don't even know what you're talking about," Marcus tried, fumbling.

At once the hand dropped in the aggravation of it's owner, "Fuck off. Remember the first time I got drunk with you, when I stuck my tongue down your throat? For half a minute you were totally going with it and I felt like yeah, this is my speed, then you freaked and bolted, and came back all hand shakes drawn to explain how straight and unoffended you were. I've rarely kissed a bloke who didn't want me to who hasn't wanted to smash my teeth in before you. I thought maybe you were novel, decent, a straight man who was genuinely just that...but then what's this...?"

Marcus didn't know what it was, just that his talking, this possibility, the questioning alone was making his cock throb impossibly.

Esca knew, he had always known.

"Come on you're excited, look at yourself. I mean look at it."

Ever brazen Esca looked down and as he did he pressed his trouser fabric over the erect stretch of his own cock in his trousers then qualified the sight, "Look at me. That's just the thought of getting to touch you. Instantly. It fucking gets to me."

His voice was a needy shiver of desire, that of someone so caught and his eyes didn't waver for a second in impressing what that meant into Marcus' skull. Marcus could not help but be aroused by it further. That he could be so wanted, so powerfully needed, so good, made his blood hot, set it rioting through every inch of his body until it was in his face.

Esca was just so direct, so happy at the sex soaking his voice and it was still all things joyous to Marcus, even when it was directed at him but because it was directed at him it was deeply humiliating and embarrassing too.

"So I like sucking guys off and you were never much of a homophobe so how about I just suck your cock and when you come you can give me whatever you want in return yeah?"

Esca saw Marcus' instant refusal and confusion and tried to reassure him, "I was thinking like a wank or something, nothing too, strenuous." He pronounced the last word so exactly, with humourous intonation as if he were happy, amused by all this, as if Marcus body could be light and casual, as free and easy as his was. As if all he had to do to have that glorious liberation was say Yes.

Marcus made a small exasperated noise. It was like Esca's want was drawing him in. Clinging to the banks to save himself he said, "We're not talking about this like this is something we're actually gonna do!"

"Why not? I mean we're both horny aren't we, we like each other don't we, what we've got there is a problem with a solution."

"Esca..."

"God are you blushing." Plainly Esca couldn't be more overjoyed at that, his smile turning from mischievous to dopey, all soft to wide and calm in his face. Palming his own cock he looked pointedly at Marcus' again as if it might have decided to stop embarrassing him.

"Oh you're so hard, fuck you need to let me at it."

"I need to go to the shower block and jerk off is what I need to do."

Esca shook his head and looked sad, then said, powerfully angry, "Oh fine, yeah you know what, you go do that. I mean if you're just gonna be a dick about it then yeah, seriously, you can fuck off!"

At once Marcus cared more that he'd upset him than keeping to himself but he couldn't push words of contrition past his lips and he looked at him plaintive and mournful.

"Don't look at me like that. I was used to you being straight, to not having you, you'd made yourself pretty clear on it and then this...? What the fuck is this? Am I being filmed for some reality tv show or something? You fucking frustrate me Marcus and I don't know why I let you."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not. If you were you'd stop being such a dick. It's just sex ok, it won't fucking hurt you. I won't fucking hurt you. I couldn't. You know that."

"I'm not gay," Marcus said desperate.

"There are things inbetween, you know, not that it matters, whatever you are you still will be."

Marcus lowered his head, his whole body wanted, longed, once again the words would not come to him, "Esca. Please."

Esca knew what he was begging for and stepped in closer, then asked, laughing, "Gonna kiss me or are you too chicken?

The harshness of his language, the raw machoistic drive of his push forth culminated in him putting an aggressive hand at Marcus' zipper. Marcus was overwhelmed, he closed his eyes and took a painfully deep breath.

Esca was quickly inside, touching his bare cock with his fingertips.

"Uh, shit," Marcus gasped.

The lurch of his heart and the painful speed of his stiffening to it terrified him. He felt himself being pulled from his bearings. This could really make him want it, could make him want more and that way so gladly lead him out of control if he let it and who knows whether he would get back to himself again?

Esca didn't care, he began jerking him off, tight and fast and there the decision was made because it was so perfectly done, so good and craved that Marcus really had no other option but to surrender with his mouth open, trying to put all his heart felt need to moan into hitched little breaths that were far less embarrassing.

Esca smiled and his face was so beautiful, eyes shining black with pupil dilation, lips pink and plump.

"You can kiss me if you want," Esca panted, then when Marcus held by the pleasure of his touch could not move, Esca said, "Uh fucking stick your tongue down my throat."

With a command it was so easy to, he grew focused on doing so, concentrated entirely on Esca's needy voice. He grabbed Esca hard, hand on his neck and dragged his mouth against until he felt good enough to open it. It had no sting of peculiarity anymore, it was just love, something he'd done so many times before and he kissed and kissed, nibbled & tongued, with pure electricity shuddering through his whole body.

Esca gripped his jaw hard and it was messy and sticky and then his mouth barely made proper contact more than a few times for the desperate urge to push the lust growing in his body into tongue thrusting.

When Esca pulled off his mouth was wet and gasping and luminous with a smile.

Dizzy, with all the wrongness of his actions seeping back to his conscious thought, Marcus looked down ashamed and confused.

Esca slowed his stroke, leant into him and spoke low and soft against the tender skin of his neck, "You're not doing anything wrong," he said, "We both want it so much."

Marcus moaned, clinging to the words he said.

"It's alright, let it go, from now on, I'll do this whenever you need it, fuck knows I've done it enough for people I liked far less."

Marcus had to get a handle on something and settled on his ass squeezing, kneading it.

Esca tightened his hand on his cock, speeding up again.

Marcus made a noise, distressed and held his hand to his cock, anything to make Esca keep tugging him, he needed it badly.

"Aw yeah come on, nice and quick."

"Uh shit."

Esca stroked his own bulge with appreciation.

The thought of rubbing the hardness there, of filling his warm hand with Esca's spunk as he was gushing his own came to Marcus.

He needed to touch him.

Fear prickled his whole body as he gripped his fly, as if he ought not to go so far but the thought turned him on too much. The friction of Esca's fatigues as they gave way against his fingertips alone made him feel he wanted to come.

His cock was sticky and hard. Marcus tugged, a shallow slow stroke.

"Uh that's it, that's it," Esca said small and desperate, then. "Oh god I need to suck your cock."

Marcus kissed those words from Esca's mouth and others rushed to take their place mumbled wetly against his lips, aside the slick licks of his tongue, "Wanna run my tongue all over it...just suck it into my mouth..." Marcus was tugging his hot cock, sucking the filth of his patter over his tongue and down his throat and the whole of him felt like it was buzzing.

He felt Esca pulling away, meaning to go to his knees. Something of that further step stirred panic within Marcus, he scrunched a hand up in Esca's uniform at his shoulders preventing him from smoothly moving to the floor.

"Please." Esca said needy.

Marcus made a similar hitched noise at him, fear once more clouded by desire and let him go. Esca smiled delighted.

Down at his feet he asked, "You ever come in someone's mouth?" eyebrows quirking high. Marcus was seized between amusement and terror and just stared down at him his face tense, "It's fucking awesome." Esca said, then he sank his head and began to suck.

So tight, so wet and warm, squeezing pleasure up his cock into his blood and out in his breaths. Marcus sighed, touching Esca's hair.

With his cockhead at his mouth, Esca cooed, "Good lad," then took it to his tongue once more and with Esca's approval upon him, his suckling mouth un self consciously lulling him ever closer to abandon, Marcus felt nothing beyond the surging frenzy in his body.

Esca pulled back to take oxygen in harshly before descending onto it again sucking all that burning, aching flesh so tightly, grasping, clinging, wet, until he was bucking, fucking Esca's face, hands in his hair, using him and Esca was painfully grasping at his thighs and backside for more, he wanted it, he wanted him and Marcus came, with floating light trailing around his head.

Esca was sucking strongly when it happened, there was no mess when he was done. He had swallowed Marcus' cum and he was smiling. It made Marcus unsteady.

Esca stood and reached out to put his hands on his ass as he rocked his cock against his thigh. It immediately roused Marcus from his stupor.

"Let me help you."

He stroked him fast.

"Uh fuck." His eyes flickered then closed and he moaned. It was a revelation to see Esca so utterly out of control, weak, helpless, relying upon Marcus to please him.

He whimpered at every new touch and his eyes came to Marcus' face outrightly pleading when he kept his stroke in the same place.

"Uh yes," he groaned.

His whole body tensing, surging from the waves of sensation, he came.

He kissed his neck and chin hard and continuous, stuttering, panting out hard wet breaths against his flesh as Marcus squeezed him, milking him of his come.

It felt good, the way his breath hissed at the pain.

When done Marcus pulled back and looked at the shine of spunk over his hand. It gave him a pang of calm in his guts.

There it was, he had done it, there was no going back. Perhaps he was free now.

"We don't have to talk about this ok. You don't have to treat me any different. I mean I'll still get to fuck Jake for a while at least."

Marcus was blinded by how empty he felt.

"So this didn't mean anything to you?"

"It's not that it didn't mean anything, I'm just reassuring you and your noble feelings that I won't be devastated if you regret anything and just don't wanna do it again."

"Jake?" Marcus said, shaking his head at him.

"Yeah."

"He called you a faggot man."

Esca shrugged and said cheerful enough, "I spose I am one to him, don't much care what he thinks of that to be honest."

Marcus sighed "Yeah," but he was already in the process of shaking his head no, as sorrow blubbed its way out of him, "But it's not good enough man."

Esca's face got grave and still, "I know, but then it's not gonna be is it?" There looked to be a clench of emotion in Esca's eyes, "Nobody is as good for me as you are."

Marcus froze, terrified of how badly his failiure would hurt him too if he let it in.

When Marcus gave him no further response Esca's face twisted and pulling back he said, "Yeah well see, I take what I can fucking get mate."

Wiping his mouth Esca turned and said.

"Let's just, not talk for a while yeah, give us both time to calm down."

Marcus stayed still as Esca left, empty of the words needed to halt him.


End file.
